I'm in a relationship for over a year. Am I happy? Yes. Am I sure? No. I am. I don't know. I guess feelings has its ways to messing up with the Master huh?
Well, we know almost everyone in the world have social network right? But, what's the purpose? I supposed it was to reconnect with friends, family, acquaintance, or even exs. Well, here is my story.
In my relationship for over a year, I feel like I don't get anything and I'm not worth anything even an effort; which is OBVIOUSLY FREE OF CHARGE. For over 8 months, I have to see my boyfriend's ex's face which I quote he was saying; "weekend with LOVE" , "Good times", "L O V E".
Even a gift from her with "Thanks for the gift" (If im not mistaken) While me on the other side and IN the current moment, were nowhere to be found. Not even a post about me. Nonetheless my face.
Not that I crazy for it, but 1 is enough to prove me that you've moved on. Who am I to you? Girl friend? HAHAHAHAHAH
ehem....
So, I unfriend him and it got him mad. Or upset because I'm upset. Wow my fingers are shaking. It's amazing I can still feel the frustation and sadness as I type these.
Ya ya ya he deleted those photos anyway. Finally! But to live knowing that :-
1. You're still friends with your ex on all your social media, never mind that. BUT
2. keeping me as a secret and saying you;ve change and not a fan of posting ANYTHING about US ANYWHERE AT ALL. OR you don't want your ex to see it?
How would you expect me to feel to live with these bullshits for over a year. To get hurt all over again, feel like shit, like no one. And you want me to believe when you say you love me. By words you really made it sounds so reassure. But I don't feel it baby. I don't see that you love me. I feel like i'm a bridge from your ex to your future GF. Just to pass by, never made a stop. Well, my bridge is long, it'll take you few years maybe, but you'll get there. ;)
You made me think that you haven't moved on and that's hurt. Am I not worth any effort at all?
And now I don't care anymore. I don't want any of these anymore. It hurts knowing myself isn't worth anything to you and I have no idea why do you still want to stay with me because to be honest, I don't expect anything from you at all. Not anymore.
Because in the end. I'll get nothing.
You were supposed to make me happy. Not this.
.......
Running away is all I could think of.